I was sitting here tonight wondering in the silence of my house wondering if people think that..or just chose to not remember the arguments and the bad times..and only focus on the good times in life.
I cant be the only one who misses the hell out of someone that I loved dearly and remembers a persons qualities that I didn't always like but know they are what made her who she was and I will always love everything about her dearly because it is who she was. You can love someone dearly and not always like every single thing about them .
If you didn't know that or realize it wake up !! Life is too short - You don't have to love every single thing about someone to love them !! You have to take the good with the bad and indifferent and know they are who they are, and if you really love them you can see past the stuff you don't like.
My daughter was a spitfire. She had spunk. She was friendly. She was a smart ass. She had attitude. She had a good attitude and a bad ass attitude, and both served her well. They are what made her Casey, and to us , Casey was special because she was a fighter and wouldn't take anyone's shit sitting down, or laying down for that matter. She wouldn't back down because she was disabled.
Nothing pissed her off more than someone looking at her chair and passing judgement on her based upon her chair. She had to constantly prove herself to people that she was smart because of them ASSuming things about her because she couldn't walk.
Casey always tried to see the good in everyone but sometimes it honestly pissed her off to no end when people tried babying her because she had Muscular Dystrophy. Did I mention she had an attitude ? The "My attitude is YOUR problem" shirt I saw after her passing would have suited her perfectly...
That kiss my arse - watch and see attitude she had carried her far in life. Her lack of giving a shit what people thought about her carried her far. She was ALWAYS honest to a fault with people, but you ALWAYS knew where you stood with Casey. If she told you to go fuck yourself , you knew she really meant for you to fuck off. If you pissed her off , you knew it. She told you how she felt and didn't hold anything back. If she told you that she loved you , she meant it.
If she considered you a friend , you were blessed because she didn't take words or feelings lightly. She was passionate. She always stood up for her friends and family in every way she could. She had a voice and she had no problem with speaking up and letting it be heard !!
She didn't feel the need sugar coat anything or blow cotton candy up someones ass to make them feel better about themselves. She laid the cards out on the table and played the hand she was given. She didn't shit unicorns or piss rainbows of happiness, she was Casey. She was blunt. She was honest. She was real. She is loved and she is missed.
She gave me more gray hairs in the month before her death than one person should ever get that quick !! Reflecting back on those past few months , I'm sure she gave her favorite nurse M a run for her money too, not to mention the hell she put her aides through at times. She loved most of them and tolerated others. Honestly she could be hell on wheels one moment and sweeter than the sweetest candy you could find in a candy shop the next. She was stubborn as hell to boot !!
But she was Casey and we never expected anything less than her being herself. She was like a breath of fresh air with her honesty. She kept it real. She was very special. She was unique.
Everything about Casey is missed her faults , her attitude , her honesty ,her bluntness , those killer smiles , the twinkles in her eyes and her love. She wasn't perfect by any means but perfection is in the eye of the beholder. She was perfectly imperfect and she was perfect enough for me.
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