Better in time

This is the second song I heard after my daughter Casey died. I used to turn it off when it would come on the radio for the first 8 or so months after she died . I would chose to listen to Cd's over and over instead of the radio. There was no chance of the songs that reminded me of the day she died coming on if I wasn't listening to the radio.

I heard it by mistake almost a year to the day after she died. It broke me. I felt like the lyrics were speaking to me. It really was the longest winter without her. Every little thing reminded me of her. I could see reminders that she was gone everywhere. They felt like slaps in the face every time I saw a reminder. Like salt in an open wound to remind me she was gone.

Everyone told me things would get better and Id get over losing her. I can honestly say 2 years, and almost 8 months later , I'm not over losing Casey. Ill never "get" over losing her. Day by day Im getting through the day with losing her. There is a difference between getting through , and getting over.

Getting over her would be like pretending she never was here. Getting through means getting through each day and learning to accept her death. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time ,and when needed one second at a time. Some days are better than others. I still see the reminders but now they don't make me cry like they used too. I miss her dearly but instead of seeing the reminders as she is gone and not coming back , I chose to see them as reminders that she was here and she would have loved it.

Do things get better in time ? No but you learn to accept things for what they are..and try and remember I'm trying to remind myself that she would want me to be happy.. but would understand that I am going to have bad days.Instead of crying all the time , I'm learning to smile again. I'm learning to laugh again. I even sometimes can talk about her and not cry. I'm trying to learn to live again without her.

One day at a time.