Day 6: What NOT to Say

Day 6: What NOT to Say:

Ive heard so many different things in the 2 years and 7 months that Casey has been gone , ive really tried reflecting on all of them to try and write them however , Ive heard so many messed up things I can only pin point a few.

"God needed her more than we did."
"At least you have other children."
"It was God's will."
"Your child is in a better place now."
"I know just how you feel."
"Now you will have an angel in heaven."

Here is one of the poems I can really relate too...

Please don't tell me you know how I feel,
Unless you have lost your child too,
Please don't tell me my broken heart will heal,
Because that is just not true,
Please don't tell me my daughter is in a better place,
Though it is true, I want her here with me,
Don't tell me someday I'll hear her voice, see her face,
Beyond today I cannot see,
Don't tell me it is time to move on,
Because I cannot,
Don't tell me to face the fact she is gone,
Because denial is something I can't stop,
Don't tell me to be thankful for the time I had,
Because I wanted more,
Don't tell me when I am my old self you will be glad,
I'll never be as I was before,
What you can tell me is you will be here for me,
That you will listen when I talk of my child,
You can share with me my precious memories,
You can even cry with me for a while,
And please don't hesitate to say her name,
Because it is something I long to hear everyday,
Friend please realize that I can never be the same,
But if you stand by me, you may like the new person I become someday.

This is the other one I can really relate too.. I think they both speak loud and clear , please listen to them so you know what NOT to say to a bereaved parent.

Please, don't ask me if I'm over it yet
I'll never be over it
Please, don't tell me she's in a better place
She isn't here with me

Please, don't say at least she isn't suffering
I haven't come to terms with why she had to suffer at all
Please, don't tell me you know how I feel
Unless you have lost a child you dont know

Please, don't ask me if I feel better
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up
Please, don't tell me at least you had her for so many years
What year would you choose for your child to die?

Please, don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear
Please, just tell me you are sorry
Please, just say you remember my child, if you do
Please, just let me talk about my child
Please, mention my child's name
Please, just let me cry.