Since you have been reading the blog I write about losing your sister and you seem to get upset because I write about Casey almost daily -I want you to know I love you two girls as much as I love your brother , and your older sister Casey. You are also very important in my life. I may not always tell you how much I love you, but I try and show you , even if you aren't looking or paying attention to me.
I try and do as much as I can to make sure you are happy , but honestly there are times I feel like giving up because nothing I seem to do ever makes you happy , and you too Blondie , sometimes you give me the same attitude as Peanut. I get upset with you both , but that does not mean I don't love you any less , because I always will love you two, Casey and Bubby too. Even when you treat me like shit I still love you all. I'm as proud of your accomplishments as I was of hers. And I'm proud of Bubbys too.
Writing about Casey soothes my heart , dries my tears (and occasionally causes them) and makes my soul sing , and allows me to get my feelings about losing her out in the open without interfering in your lives. I know you guys don't really like talking about losing her, but for me , remembering her , helps me. Kind of like making blankets helps you guys. You cant keep your feelings under wraps forever, someday you have to let go of the anger and come to terms with everything .I hope to see that day soon.
Love Always ,
Mom
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